I think everyone at some point has struggled with loneliness.   Perhaps you don’t want to admit it; but I bet you have.  You could be surrounded by people all day and still be lonely.  On the contrary, you could be alone all day and not be lonely.  Lonelliness isn’t simply based on our outward surroundings, but rather the satisfaction of our soul.  This satisfaction is the feeling that someone gets us.

     I laugh when people who aren’t married tell me that they are lonely and then presuppose that I could’t possibly struggle with loneliness because I am married.  I will tell you right now, even marriage won’t guarentee that you will never feel lonely.  The ironic thing is that I remember the lonliest year of my life and one of the darkest years was my first year of marriage.  It had nothing to do with Daniel or our actual marriage; because that year of marriage was wonderful! It was that I had gone through so many changes that year and everything in my life was new and different, and I didn’t have anyone close that I thought could possibly get me or relate to me.  

     What we all want is someone who we can share our whole heart and soul with and feel that they get us, that we are not judged, and that they can relate, and encourage us through that time.  I have to be honest that I have only met a few of these friends in my life, but they aren’t always constant.  I pray for everyone reading this that you too can find one of these friends at one point; it’s refreshing.  But; I will also tell you that you will not always have this and as you change and that person changes; they may not get you the way they used to.  So is there a cure for loneliness?  Is there anyone that understands and has compassion and is there with us through every stage of life? Someone who understands exactly how we are feeling; who rejoices when we rejoice; mourns when we mourn; and comforts us?  Someone who truly satisfies our soul and lets us know that beyond a shadow of a doubt we are not alone?

     Psalm 27:10 says, “For my father and mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in.”  I read this verse the other day and it spoke to my heart; not that my father and mother have forsaken me, but shows the confidence the author has in God being the one to satisfy his soul and to be the one to always take him in.  Many times throughout scripture people are told that God will not leave or forsake them; and often this is said to those who are going into difficult things and could fall into a trap of feeling alone.  Hebrews 4:15-16 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  

     Jesus gets you! That is good news! He wants to satisfy your loneliness.  As we enter those spots where we feel alone or really are alone; allow Jesus to satisfy you.  Just as he accepted the Psalmist when his family rejected him, Jesus accepts you as you are rejected.  Just as he told those that, “He would not leave or forsake them,” Jesus tells you as he calls you to something that no one may understand.  Jesus can sympathize with us in all things, for He became flesh; therefore may we draw near in prayer and know that someone can satisfy our soul and we can truly feel not alone.

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My God Given Disciples

     Recently I read something on a blog that broke my heart and made me want to scream. I read a blog by a women explaining why her and her husband felt the conviction to become part of the quiver-full movement; those who believe in no form of birth control and that we should trust God with whatever number of children he wants to give us.  I myself do not hold to this belief and find it an area where Christian liberty, led by the Holy Spirit is to be applied.  What broke my heart though was one of the comments underneath.  A women had said, in so many words, that she believed it was unbiblical to have a lot of children.  This women stated that Jesus’s command, “therefore for go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son  and of the Holy Spirit,” is Jesus’s main mission for us and that children are a hinderance to our ability to make disciples and do ministry.

     I hope your heart broke just as much as mine.  Children in no way are a hinderance to our discipleship making; they are some of the most effective disciples we are making.  A disciple is someone who is a learner of the one that they follow.  Jesus’s disciples were with him all the time, learning from him as he went about his day; they asked questions; he spoke to them in parables to help them understand spiritual truths.  As the disciples spent time with Jesus they became more like Him.  The people that are going to become most like you are the people who spend the most time with you.

    My children are currently with me around 12hrs a day; ( I am subtracting the time they sleep) that is a lot of time for learning and discipleship.  My children see my actions, hear my words, and pick up on the attitudes of my heart.  My children will be the most effective or ineffective disciples I make.  This has been weighing on my heart so heavily; I have such a great respoinsibility. I have an opportunity to show my kids the character of Jesus.  In first Corinthians 11:1, Paul tells the church to follow Him as he follows Christ.  That is my heart for my children; I desire that they can follow me as I follow Christ.

    As a mother discipling your children does not get in the way of ministry; it is your ministry.  You will have the bigger impact on these little disciples God has given you compared to anyone else.  In Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, ” Let the little children come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to people like these.”  Children are humble, helpless, and looking for someone to imitate and follow; let it be you as you keep your eyes on Christ. Hopefully you will be there when they get baptized and be able to send them out one day to make disciples of their own.  Pray for perseverance to pour into your children knowing that the fruit you will see will fill you with joy and bring glory to God.


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Starting a Blog

The other night as I sat around and talked to some women, I was told I should start a blog.  My response was, “why would I start a blog, I am just like many other women.”  Their response was that I wasn’t.  Then, yesterday, I asked my husband what I should be focusing my energy on, he told me to spend less time on facebook and to start a blog.  I said that I don’t spend time on facebook, but then today found myself spending 20 minutes on facebook once my kids were asleep.  So what am I going to do?  Start a blog!

I believe this blog will be a good outlet.  As I am at home with my children, God teaches me a lot.  I learn from scripture, books, and just from the Holy Spirit speaking wisdom and revealing things into my life.  I hope that this blog can encourage other women.  I also have a lot of controversial thoughts and ideas that I do not always want to post on facebook, so I’ll just jot them down here.

I named the blog “service for the glory of God” because that’s what I desire for my life.  I desire that my life will be one of service for the glory of God.  Daily I hear a lie, “do what’s best for you,” but I daily hear Jesus telling me, “give up your life for the sake of my Kindgom and in doing so you will find life.”  I think I should note  that I do not audibly hear Jesus say that.  So here is my attempt to start a blog.

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